A Love Letter to My Children

A contributor piece for Portlandmoms.com

Dear Mo, Rykie, Huds and Lu,

This morning, I think of you as I look about the kitchen. You are not here now, but there is evidence of you all around. Today, there are more colorful additions to the usual food droppings scattered on the floor. Construction paper hearts and colored pencil shavings accent the scrambled eggs. You've all been working diligently to create an outward expression of the love that you hold in your heart. Although you each have a limited number of valentines to disperse to your classmates on this one designated day in February, I am struck by how lucky I am to receive the gift of your love and affection every single day of the year. 

Because here's the thing. I mess up a lot. I yell and lose my temper. I get distracted and don’t listen to the things you ask me. And, I'm often forgetful and misplace many of your treasured things. But, you forgive me. Every time. You tell me that it's ok and that you love me. There is no keeping track of the things I did that hurt your feelings or the things that went wrong because of me. You’ve loved me at my worst, and it has changed me for the better.

Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday this year. Although I have time to secure a sitter and plan ahead to make a reservation to ensure Dad and I can enjoy a romantic evening out on the town, I think we’ll stay home and celebrate as a family this time. Maybe we'll be festive and get a heart-shaped pizza for dinner. When I think about what sort of gift I could give your Dad on Valentine's Day, I realize that we've both already received the best possible gift: you, our children. Our love multiplied when you four humans arrived on the scene. And that love somehow continues to grow exponentially. Love somehow breaks all the rules.

I am so glad I get to be your mom! There is more laughter, and I have learned not to take myself so seriously. Snuggling is our love language, and it just might be the fix that is making everything better. You teach me to be patient and to trust that love will pull us through. Watching you grow is a gift I continue to unwrap. Being your mom is more than I knew to ask for. It is more than I knew I wanted.

I’m celebrating each of you this morning as I clean the kitchen. You’ve filled my heart and our home with joy. In our family, love is messy, and love is loud.  I wouldn’t have it any other way. Wherever love resides, there is tangible evidence of its presence. Thank you for the remnants you leave behind that remind me of the real, full life we are living right now.

I love you,

Mom