Techniques For Supporting Anxious Kids: Sometimes The Only Way Is Through
An article written for the Ministry Spark Blog
It was a Fall Saturday in October in the PNW, and I was driving my youngest daughter to her soccer game. We got stuck on the bridge spanning Oregon and Washington. Due to an accident, traffic had come to a complete stop.
My daughter kept asking what time the GPS said we would arrive at her game and anxiously watched as the arrival time on the screen kept moving out while we were going nowhere fast. On all sides of us there was bumper-to-bumper traffic.
First came the tears, next the shallow breathing, and then the panic. Through tears and shallow breaths, my daughter started making statements like “This is the worst day ever” and “Why does this have to happen to me?” Then she escalated to blaming herself for letting her team down by not getting to the game on time.
The internal battle waged within me too. I echoed my daughter’s statements and struggled not to let them be the most real experience of the moment. I told myself to stay calm, but I wasn’t buying my own press.
Supporting Anxious Kids
When we see anxiety grow in the bodies of the little ones we love and lead, it can feel helpless and cause our own anxiety to rise to the surface. In our efforts to help provide tools and resources for the children in our care, we must stay calm and regulate ourselves.
We were in a situation where we could not control the outcome, yet there were certain things still within our control.
Choosing to be present for my daughter and provide her with guidance and resources was what this minor crisis called for. I knew how to be present with my daughter in her anxiety and how to help her move through it. The soccer game had quickly taken a backseat.
The most important truth to communicate was that my daughter’s performance (in the game and life) was not more important (and never would be) than her peace.
Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects people of all ages, including children.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health disorder in the United States, affecting 31.9% of adults at some point in their lives. Anxiety in children has been on the rise over the past few years, with studies indicating that up to 25% of elementary school students suffer from some form of anxiety.
How we respond to a child’s anxiety will make a big difference in how they learn to cope with anxious feelings.
The best way to help children overcome anxiety is to teach them to deal with anxiety as it comes up. With practice, they will be less anxious. When anxiety rises in the children we love and lead, consider using these practices to help them find their way back to peace.
Read the full article HERE