Providing Security in the Midst of Change
A contributor piece for Portlandmoms.com
The tears most readily appear at bedtime. The nighttime routine of tickling backs and saying our prayers opens up a safe place to voice the suppressed rumblings deep inside. This past year has been full of transition, and the next month promises more of the same. After just less than a year in our home, we are uprooting and moving once more. Another new house, new school, and new friends. New things can be exciting, but sometimes our hearts ache for the old and the familiar. As we gear up as a family to tackle this challenging adventure head-on, we aim to put into practice the tools we discovered through trial and error this last round. Here are five tips we’ve found helpful for providing security in the midst of change.
Bring them into the discussion
G.I. Joe once said that “knowing is half the battle.” And I agree with him. As our family is on the cusp of change once again, bringing our kids into the conversation about what we do know has proved to be an opportunity for connection. We have found that including them in the discussion about the impending transition provides a place for them to voice their hopes, fears, and questions. Although many specifics are still blurry, partnering with our kids in the process of finding a house and exploring neighborhoods has created a sense of security in the midst of change.
Dream and Plan
Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” King Solomon, the Biblical king best known for his wisdom, penned these words. Our family has taken hold of that truth. It is tucked in our hearts and declared from our mouths. This new season of life is full of hope and new opportunities. My husband is excelling in a job that is literally the fulfillment of a dream, and I am going back to school to begin my master's degree. As our kids see their parents step out with vision and dream about a life of new possibilities, the voice of limitation gets quieter. Casting vision and dreaming as a family about the future provides security in the midst of change.
Look Back and Mark Progress
Just last week, our family snuggled on the couch and watched The Wizard of Oz. This classic movie turned out to be full of timely life lessons for our family. The main character of the movie, Dorothy, is on a journey to go home. She has run away to avoid adversity and pain, only to realize that home is made up of those you love more than a brick-and-mortar building. Her journey through the unknown posed challenges but also held gifts waiting for her along the way. She now holds courage, a renewed mind, and a tender heart as she returns home to her family. This story opened great conversations about what we have learned along our own journey. My children are stronger, more courageous, and demonstrate empathy to a greater extent due to the road they have walked. Declaring the growth and progress of this past season provides security amid change.
Speak Gratitude out Loud every day
Uncertainty can feel like quicksand. The more that you wrestle and struggle with it, the worse off you become. In our home, when uncertainty and fear bait us to step in, and we begin to sink, we have found gratitude to be the lifeline that puts our feet back on solid ground. When we fear what we don’t know, we speak out with gratitude for what we do know. I’ve started using time in the car with my kids to declare out loud what we are thankful for. Without fail, the fog of discouragement lifts, and it isn't long before we are giggling and speaking out the small joys of our day that we would have otherwise missed. Speaking gratitude out loud every day provides a sense of security in the midst of change.
Live in the Now
We aren’t promised tomorrow. There is a time and place to plan for the future, but it is important to find its rightful place. Don’t sacrifice today on the altar of tomorrow, because you can never get it back. When the stress of impending decisions of the future feels overwhelming, we do our best to shelve the conversations for a few hours and live presently. In this season of life that has looked like an evening trip to the river to swim, or making pina colada cupcakes at 10:30 am on a Tuesday. Enjoying the gift of today provides security in the midst of change.
Letting go is not easy. But if our hands are full of what was, we are not able to fully grab hold of what is. Yesterday was good. Let’s believe that tomorrow will be even better.